before you give up on yourself

Perhaps you don't need to decide forever on the day you are most tired. 

There are days when continuing feels very different from courage.

It doesn't feel brave.

It doesn't feel inspiring.

It doesn't feel like the beginning of some triumphant story you will someday tell about overcoming adversity.

Sometimes it just feels exhausting.

You've tried.

Then tried differently.

Waited.

Worked.

Hoped.

Started over.

Adjusted the plan.

Given it another chance.

And somewhere along the way, a quiet thought arrives:

Maybe I should just give up.

Sometimes that thought deserves listening to.

There are things we should leave.

Things that hurt us.

Things that have finished.

Dreams we inherited from someone else.

Doors we keep knocking on because we've forgotten we are allowed to walk away.

Giving up and letting go are not always the same thing.

But before you decide which one this is—

there is something I hope you'll do.

Rest Before You Decide

Exhaustion is a poor fortune teller.

It has a way of convincing us that because something feels impossible today, it will feel impossible forever.

Everything looks different when we are depleted.

A small problem becomes enormous.

A delay becomes failure.

Uncertainty becomes evidence that we chose the wrong road.

One difficult day becomes:

I can't do this anymore.

Maybe you can't.

But perhaps you don't have to know that tonight.

Eat something.

Sleep.

Go outside.

Turn the problem over to tomorrow for a little while.

Let someone else carry part of it if they can.

Do something that has absolutely nothing to do with solving anything.

You are allowed to put something down without abandoning it.

Remember Why You Began

Not because your original reason must obligate you forever.

You are allowed to change.

But go back for a moment.

Before the complications.

Before the disappointments.

Before you knew how difficult it would be.

What made something inside you say:

I want to try.

Was there joy there?

Curiosity?

Love?

A sense that something mattered?

A possibility you couldn't stop thinking about?

Perhaps that original spark is gone.

If it is, that tells you something.

But perhaps it isn't gone at all.

Perhaps it is simply buried beneath all the work required to keep it alive.

Sometimes we don't need a new dream.

We need to remember the one underneath the paperwork.

Look Behind You

When we're struggling, we tend to stare at the distance still ahead.

Look the other way for a moment.

Not to measure productivity.

To notice yourself.

Look at everything you know now that you didn't know when you began.

The mistakes you survived.

The things you figured out.

The times you thought:

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.

And somehow did the next thing anyway.

There are versions of you standing farther back on this road who would be astonished by what you now consider ordinary.

Don't dismiss that person simply because they haven't reached the destination yet.

Maybe It Needs to Change Shape

Continuing doesn't always mean continuing the same way.

This matters.

Sometimes persistence becomes punishment because we believe changing the plan means betraying the dream.

It doesn't.

Take another road.

Make it smaller.

Ask for help.

Change the deadline.

Remove something unnecessary.

Learn what you don't know.

Begin again from a different place.

Let the thing become something you could not imagine when you started.

A river does not fail because it bends around a stone.

It keeps going.

Just differently.

You can too.

And If It Really Is Time to Let Go...

Then let go because you know.

Not because you're exhausted.

Not because one person didn't understand.

Not because it took longer than expected.

Not because someone else got there first.

Not because the first attempt failed.

Not because you're embarrassed that you haven't figured everything out.

Not because today hurt.

There is courage in continuing.

There is also courage in recognizing when something has completed its work in your life.

Only you can know the difference.

But you deserve to make that decision from somewhere steadier than your lowest moment.

Stay With Yourself

Whatever happens to the dream—

don't abandon yourself with it.

You are not the project that failed.

You are not the relationship that ended.

You are not the opportunity you didn't receive.

You are not the mistake.

You are not the unfinished manuscript, unopened business, unanswered email, rejected application, abandoned canvas, or plan that had to change.

Something can fail without making you a failure.

Something can end without meaning you have.

Something can be lost while there is still so much of you left to discover.

So before you give up on yourself—

don't.

Rest.

Grieve if you need to.

Get angry.

Ask for help.

Change direction.

Begin smaller.

Begin differently.

Put it down for a while.

But stay on your own side.

Tomorrow may not bring an answer.

It may simply bring a little more strength with which to ask the question again.

Sometimes that's enough.

You don't have to know tonight whether you can do this forever.

You only have to remember that you are worth staying for.

FOR YOUR POCKET

Before you give up on yourself...

Rest first.

One hard day is not your whole story.

A changed plan is not a failed dream.

Putting something down is not always quitting.

You may continue.

You may change direction.

You may begin differently.

Whatever you choose—

stay on your own side.