Unmasking the Distortion:

I had started this entry with what I thought was a clear idea of what I was going to write. As if I ever need more “proof” that I am being guided by forces greater than myself, I got it again half way through my original ranting. What began as a discussion on spiritual narcissism veered off into a totally different topic - distorted masculinity. I‘m intentionally NOT going to say “toxic masculinity” because that, to me, holds too much energy of male-bashing, and that’s got nothing to do with what I’m talking about. Something is changing, very strongly, throughout the collective. I know that I am not the only one who feels it - not by a mile. As we enter into a new Age, there is a call coming from the Universe that we ALL find balance, let go of fear, and understand what it means to choose love.

"The Old Ones say the Native American women will lead the healing among the tribes. Inside them are the powers of love and strength given by the Moon and the Earth. When everyone else gives up, it is the women who sings the songs of strength. She is the backbone of the people. So, to our women we say, sing your songs of strength; pray for your special powers; keep our people strong; be respectful, gentle, and modest. -Village Wise Man, Lakota"

For centuries we have been living in an increasingly male-dominated society. Remember, we all have both masculine and feminine energies within us, so this is not a post about what is wrong with men. Before we became patriarchal dominant, there was a matriarchal dominant society that was equally unbalanced. The Universe DEMANDS balance, so when an imbalance becomes too much, energetic shifts must occur to restore balance. So it is within ourselves and our collective consciousness. We are entering the Age of Aquarius (yes THAT Age of Aquarius) - Aquarius being the Zodiac sign of woman. There is no denying that the misogynistic culture is being challenged as we've never witnessed before.

From 7th Grade, thru my Junior year in high school, I attended an all-girls school. I was inundated with the mantras of how women are just as good as men, women can do ANYTHING they want to in life, blah blah blah. Am I saying this isn‘t true? Of course not. We all have the capacity to reach our highest potential, and regardless of gender some of us excel in some areas and some in others. The problem is that even the “feminist movement” is drowning in the same energy of distorted masculinity. This distorted masculine energy, in turn, must include distorted feminine energy. The Women’s Movement sought to reject all things “male”, but the way they organized that fight back was in a very masculine stance, still based on the belief that masculinity has anything to do with dominance or control, hence the distortion continues.

As a whole, our society has been programmed to believe that true displays of masculinity (”a real man is...“) are defined by how much power - social and personal dominance - they display. “Real men“ exert control OVER others and are generally misogynistic pricks. We can see that even in the Spiritual Community in the distorted belief (most prevalent in the 1960’s and ‘70’s, but still very much abundant today) that it’s the “divine masculine” that is going to somehow enlighten and “allow” the Divine Feminine to “emerge”. While the concept may be based in a positive ideology, that belief is totally backwards. Men are not capable of birthing anything!!!! Least of all the divine feminine within ANY woman. Once again we are staring at the distorted masculine belief - the culturally accepted belief of what it means to be a man and how it has so dangerously effected all of us. It has created heartbreaking distortions - in the ways men and women view themselves AND each other.

Distorted masculinity is the ROOT behind physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional trauma in the majority of human beings on this planet. Almost every person has been effected in some way. The more devastating consequences being assault (sexual and non-sexual), addiction, greed, terrorism, homophobia, bullying, depression, sexual objectification, and the list goes on. And again, it’s not JUST in the behaviors of our male counterparts, it happens in women as well. While boys are taught to “man up”, “soldier on”, ”don’t be such a pussy”, or “show her who’s boss”, girls are taught to “sit and look pretty”, “know your place”, “don’t act too smart”, “that’s a dyke sport” and now it has shifted even to use your sexuality to control a man. You see where this goes. Both boys and girls grow up with these culturally expected “norms” and if they don’t fall into the proper definitions for their gender what results is self-loathing, believing there must be something inherently “wrong” with them, and an endless cycle begins. These cycles usually wind up with life-long issues with depression, anxiety, drug/alcohol/sex addiction and more. Trauma that goes unresolved and those teenagers turn into adults with untreated PTSD or worse. It’s no wonder the Universe is demanding now that we shift our collective consciousness. If you’re sensitive to energy, you’re not just feeling it, you’re feeling the FORCE behind it. In Tarot, that energy is represented by the Tower - a card that literally means destruction resulting from an unstable foundation, brought about by forces beyond our “free will” in order to rebuild on a firm foundation, from the ground up.

So if this is all what distorted masculine energy looks like, what does Divine Masculine energy look like? And for that matter, what does balanced Divine Masculine and Feminine look like? Well, we already know that the only force in the Universe capable of creating life is the feminine. That’s true no matter how you slice it - from mammals to plants to electronics. Two people I have found to be very good at explaining and teaching how to step away from the distortions and embrace the TRUE masculine and feminine are Brene Brown and Lorin Krenn. Personally, I find getting both the male and female perspective on the subject helpful, but if you’re the either-or type I’ve mentioned one of each.

When a man is standing in his True, or Divine, Masculine energy it looks something like this. He is a man who lives with integrity, is able to be vulnerable and does not seek to control the people around him. He is motivated by convictions, not greed or ego. The balanced masculine is gentle in his protective strength. He does not seek to harm but will stand firm in what is right. He is loyal and never abuses or misuses his power. A balanced masculine does not feel threatened by someone else’s culturally perceived “success”, is not threatened by a successful woman. You know, the kind of guy who is totally grounded and doesn’t feel emasculated if his female counterpart makes more money, or has a “better” job, etc. Ghandi probably said it best, “Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado or loneliness. It consists in daring to do the right thing and facing consequences whether it is in matters social, political or other. It consists in deeds not words.” It is when a man can make the switch from wanting attention to wanting respect; when he can let go of his need to control others (especially women) that is when he is able to step into his TRUE masculine energy, free from distortion. This goes for women as well. Since we all have both masculine and feminine energy within us, as women we are also called to balance out those distortions within ourselves. Even though they are outwardly expressed in different ways, the internal (and spiritual) effects are the same.

So if that’s true, what does a woman with distorted Feminine energy look like? Again, for thousands of years feminine energy has been repressed and even created into something inherently “evil”. Look no further than the Bible (it’s all Eve’s fault, right?), or how many women were murdered for being a “witch”, or simply for having her period - the very source of the creation of life. How many "empowered woman" movies, tv shows or novels begin with a woman being dumped for another woman half her age and she then sets out to "prove her worth"? When a woman is not in her Divine Feminine energy, she is living out her own (or simply embodying the energy from generations of women before her, still stored in her energetic DNA) distorted sense of being "a real woman". She has a distorted and unhealthy expression of personal and sexual power. She is not capable of accepting her inner beauty and therefor seeks to express herself thru outward expressions of physical attractiveness and unhealthy sexuality. She believes she must attain the “fountain of youth” or she will loose the ability to be desired by men. She has an unhealthy and co-dependent idea of what love is and how it should be expressed, or received. In the current spiritual community, not unlike the rise of the Women's Movement in the '60's, there is a new concept gaining popularity - "sacred sexuality". There are creeping up more and more young women that have concluded that if they somehow put the label of "sacred" on it, any overt attempt at expressing this distorted feminine sexuality somehow translates into her standing in her Divine Feminine energy. Which is just a nicer way of saying as long as you call it "sacred", being slutty is ok.

Sure, that may be an over simplification, but for the sake of brevity, you get the point. If you are not honoring yourself, or are using your “sacredness” to manipulate others, you are still in a very distorted energy, be it masculine or feminine. The key is to balance your masculine and feminine energies and then step INTO the Divine aspect of whichever one matches you. I say that simply because while it may be obvious in heterosexual dynamics, it isn’t always. Whether it be hetero or same-sex relationships there will always be a Divine Masculine and Feminine counterpart, but the gender may not always match the energetic role.

There are a lot of connecting principals emerging in the world of "spirituality" that combine the distortion of masculine and feminine energies with spiritual Ego, but that will be for another blog entry. I truly believe we are all being called to heal as a collective. Step outside what you were raised to believe and begin to look at things with a knowing of those ideologies being distorted - it's fascinating how different everything starts to look. It is just as important for us to heal the collective energies as it is to heal those within ourselves. A bit of a chicken and the egg principle I think. Allow and/or hold space for those who are either not ready (or are trying but not yet there) to heal from the effects of the programming of their cultural upbringing. It is part of the ascension process. Not all of us will catch the train, but the train IS leaving the station - ALL ABOARD!!!

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