Updated: Jan 31
So, I suppose this entry is an unnecessarily long disclaimer - or just an "about me" post for those who know nothing about me. I am just your average, every day single mom who is still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Truthfully I'm not even sure what business I have writing a blog, but there are some things that I can no longer deny: I am an empath, an intuitive, and a medium. Before you start asking me to tell you if I can get a message from a passed loved one, the answer is I have NO idea!!! All I know is that when I stop trying to control what comes out of my mouth (or in this case written down) often times I can't tell you where the information comes from, how I got it, or why it resonates with the person it's being related to. Does that make me a channel instead of a medium? Again, who knows? I have learned trying to label anything only limits our true purpose in life.
What's your point, Holly? Again, very good question. At this point I suppose I should mention that I DO swear - often. If that's not your bag, then this blog probably isn't for you. Opinions are like assholes - everyone has one. There will be a lot of my "opinions" in this blog as well. If you don't agree with me, you don't have to keep reading - end of story. I'm not here to make waves, or to get into cyber-debates with people. If you don't like, or agree, with my opinion, you don't have to - but I am also going to respect you by allowing you to have your opinion, so please respect that I have mine, too. Also, the opinions reflected in this blog are mine, and mine alone. While I am using the platform of my business to publish said ideas, that does not mean that they are the ideas or opinions of anyone else I work with. That is well established between all of us, so please respect our respect of each other as well.
What kind of shit am I going to blog about? Probably a little bit of everything. Seeing as how I am a student of history and also spent quite a bit of time studying the history of religion, there will be musings on how I see history repeating itself in current events. After all, History doesn't necessary repeat itself, but, like Karma, if we haven't learned our lessons from the past, the Wheel of Fortune is going to force us to continue to face those lessons until we have learned them and are ready to move up to the next level of consciousness. I have ADD and am a forced right-hander, so there will be random tangents, always - bare with me, I'll get to the point eventually. I also consider myself to be Spiritual, not Religious. Yes, that has become quite the "vogue du jour" (meaning the IT philosophy these days), but when I say that, I also mean that I believe that things that created "organized religion" came from ideas that actually make a shit-load of sense. There is a reason that the same themes flow thru all organized religions. That being said, the "Spiritual Community", in my opinion, is becoming it's own form of organized religion and I see it, I reject it, and I'm going to talk about it.
We are no different today, as humans living a human experience, than we were hundreds, or even thousands of years ago. What has science taught us - human beings feel just as small and insignificant as we've always felt thru the ages, we just want to have BIGGER ideas to feel like we fit into and even BIGGER Universe now. As such, many people in the spiritual community have developed their "other" senses as a means to connect and understand how we are connected to "the Divine" - and we are. The danger here is that once we have "awakened" to something bigger than ourselves, WE feel bigger than those who haven't. This is where the "spiritual ego" can take over. This is a topic I will very likely discuss often. Why? Because I see it as something VERY dangerous if it isn't called out. To take a quote from the movie "The Usual Suspects" - "The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist". I can assure you he does, or IT does. Negative energy HAS to exist in order for there to be Positive energy - there MUST be balance in the Universe.
Ok, enough of that - too deep for an intro. Some other little "bits" about me before I go today... I don't know everything, I never pretended I do, nor do I think I want to. I am highly gifted - at least that's what they said after multiple trips to different "learning specialists" when I was in 4th/5th Grade and struggling for the first time with undiagnosed ADD, executive functioning, and lots of other fun side-effects of having been forced to turn into a right-handed person when I was born to naturally be left-handed. Why? Because I was adopted and there are no lefties or learning disabilities in my family, so naturally I couldn't possibly have said "afflictions", I'm just not trying hard enough. Well, I can tell you with absolutely NO hesitation, I am not only enough, most of the time I'm TOO MUCH for most people to deal with. I am a walking mirror. Not intentionally, but because that is who I came into this world to be. I'm going to make you look into that mirror and you may see things that you didn't want to see and you may reject me as a result. That's ok, I get it. I don't take it personally anymore. I was put here to walk thru the darkness so that others don't have to. WTF is that supposed to mean? It means that I have a path in life that includes having to experience things that have pushed me past what I thought was my breaking point, had me literally on my knees begging the Universe not to make me do this thing called life anymore, pick myself up off the ground, and still find the silver lining in the darkest clouds. Does that mean I have been thru more than others? Not necessarily. I know there are plenty out there who have had to endure a lot more than I have, maybe in different ways, or thru different experiences, but I don't judge other people's reactions to their life experiences, whether I think I've had to endure more or less than they have. I guess I see it like physical pain - we all have different pain thresholds. I don't see it as a burden (not anymore) but just a part of my life's purpose. (So if you happen to come across me as I'm listening to The Smith's song "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" on repeat, don't be afraid. I'm not going to descend into a black hole of despair never to return. I'm either trying to settle down one of my inner-child aspects who is in the midst of a tantrum, or I'm flat out doing shadow work and will re-emerge once I've turned back into a new butterfly.)
If you're still with me at this point, you should either consider yourself just as "nuts" as I am, or I congratulate you on your level of curiosity!! As I hope I expressed in the beginning, I'm not sure exactly what this blog is going to be about other than it's going to be me writing a bunch of shit that I am being lead to share. You aren't always (if ever) going to agree with me and I know I'm taking a HUGE leap of faith by doing it at all. This is NOT my comfort zone. I don't like people knowing what's going on in my head. In fact, I pride myself in rarely letting anyone know the full extent of my crazy, or my REAL opinions on matters. I LIKE being diplomatic and not hurting people's feelings, but I also YEARN for the truth - at all costs. I don't do group think and I don't do conspiracy theories - to me they're often two sides of the same coin. I am the only me out there, I don't want to be like anyone else, I don't feel the need to "fit in", and I'm not looking for anyone to accept me as anything other than my truest, most authentic self. If that's too much then I invite you not to read any of my future posts. If you're still curious, stay tuned...